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Four Common Lies About Singleness

Many single folks within the church battle to simply accept the label “single,” since church buildings can deal with singles as second-class residents. This therapy rests on flawed instructing about singleness. Merely put, the church can idolize marriage and make it the final word aim for maturity in Christ, relegating singles—regardless of how previous—to perpetual immaturity till they discover somebody to marry.

Complicated marriage with maturity has at all times been flawed, nevertheless it was simple when marriage was a cultural norm for the American church. On the flip of the century a big majority of the overall inhabitants was married; within the 1970s the wedding price had dropped to 70 p.c; and by 2014 it had dropped to 50 p.c. The inescapable actuality is that numerous congregations embody singles of all ages. The church must discover ways to love singles higher—and step one is repairing damaged theology.


Whereas this listing isn’t exhaustive, listed here are 4 main lies that contribute to an unbalanced theology of singleness. By correcting these misguided interpretations of Scripture, we’ll be higher outfitted to like and serve the single folks in our congregations.

Lie 1: Single = Alone

“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him’” (Gen. 2:18).

Exterior the companionship of animals and God, Adam was functionally alone. By default, he was additionally single. God declared that being on mission alone is problematic, and so he gave Adam a spouse to assist him.

We are inclined to strategy Genesis 2:18 as a prescriptive textual content, concluding that God’s resolution for lack of companionship is marriage. But if that is true, what does it indicate about being single? It might imply God doesn’t suppose singleness is sweet. But when that had been true, why had been a few of the main characters in Scripture single, together with John the Baptist, Jesus, and Paul?

To grasp this textual content we have to widen our lens. I imagine Genesis 2:18 is a descriptive textual content from which we will extract the prescriptive fact that residing exterior of group isn’t good. God created us to dwell within the context of relationships, and people relationships look completely different for various folks.

For a few of us, group will take the type of a partner and children. For others, it can appear to be an excellent community of pals and prolonged relations. For all of us, it can imply belonging to an area church.

Lie 2: Your Worth Is in a Position

“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” (Prov. 31:10).

I’m notably delicate concerning the messages we ship single ladies concerning their worth and significance in God’s kingdom. One phrase I’ve heard persistently is {that a} lady’s best achievement comes from being a spouse and a mom. And for many people, Proverbs 31 is the passage that springs to thoughts after we ponder what it means to be the epitome of a godly lady.

Sure, the Proverbs 31 lady is an instance of religious maturity, however not just because she was managing her house and offering for her household. It was as a result of she embodied godly character.

Non permanent life roles—like spouse or mom—aren’t the final word markers of godliness. We must always most strongly accent the godly character that may assist a believer glorify God in any season of life. There may be nothing particular it’s worthwhile to achieve success in marriage that you just don’t want in singleness. Regardless of our marital standing, we nonetheless have to confess and forgive, talk effectively, and die to self every single day. Let’s encourage singles to put their worth not in what’s momentary, however in what’s final: godliness.

Lie 3: Marriage Is Assured

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37:4).

Context is essential right here. Once we don’t learn Scripture in context, we will make God answerable for guarantees he by no means made. David wrote Psalm 37 to remind God’s discouraged those that God would deliver justice and bless their faithfulness. David wasn’t giving a blanket assure that no matter they desired God would grant, just because the will was good.

Typically folks conscript this verse to show about marriage, leaving many singles indignant and bitter towards a God who by no means promised them marriage within the first place.

Not all godly folks get married.

The reality is, not all godly folks get married. We have to embrace this, preach this, and rejoice this! God’s finest for a lot of will embody a life with out a partner and organic youngsters. These folks will know him extra deeply, serve him extra powerfully, and expertise larger pleasure than they may as a married individual. Not as a result of singleness is best, however as a result of marriage wasn’t a part of God’s good will for his or her life.

Regardless of how deeply we want it, Scripture by no means ensures marriage. But it surely does educate us to “not be anxious for anything, but with prayer, supplication, and with thanksgiving make [our] requests known to God and the peace of God will guard [our] hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:6–7).

Scripture additionally teaches that God’s methods are greater than our methods, and his ideas greater than our ideas (Isa. 55:9). We are able to ask God for no matter we want—however he reserves the proper to determine what’s finest for us. And his “best” isn’t a comfort prize.

Lie 4: Marriage = Happiness

One frequent notion of marriage is that it’s near-perfect bliss. Social media, motion pictures, TV exhibits, and books talk that each one our “single problems” shall be solved when Prince Charming swoops in on his white horse and rescues us. In actuality, marriage is 2 deeply damaged folks becoming a member of their deeply damaged lives to change into one.

Wherever we’ve believed considered one of these lies, our theology of singleness must be revised. We have to dethrone our idol of marriage and study to outline our identification the best way God does. He views singleness and marriage as equally blessed items to be stewarded for his glory (1 Cor. 7:7). Can we share his imaginative and prescient?

Four Common Lies About Singleness

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