10 Sure Signs He’s Not that into You

Lonely isnt fun. Too often, women will look past the obvious in a desperate attempt to create a relationship that simply isnt there. Being aware of some of the signs of disinterest from a man is crucial to avoiding unnecessary heartache. When we waste time pursuing a relationship that isnt meant to be, we might miss the good one that is.

When the nights get long, the wedding invites pile up on the counter, and your biological clock is ticking at deafening decibels, its tempting to panic and try to make a relationship happen on your own.

But you are a beloved, beautiful daughter of the Most High King. Wed do better to wait for the King of Kings to match us up with a Prince than trying to take control and do it all ourselves. Thats not to say we cant put ourselves out there, show interest, and be available, but it does mean we shouldnt settle. And trust megoing after a man who isnt going after you is settling.

When you feel like you’re being ignored but then pulled back close, when you can sense that he doesn’t seem to really care, when it feels like your relationship is going nowhere…it’s OK to step back and re-evaluate the man you are dating. Here are ten simpleyet obvioussigns that he just isnt into you. (Hear me ladiesthats okay! Because someone else will be!) Be on the look out for these warning signs because when you see them, it’s time to start thinking about moving on to someone who can build you up and encourage you.

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  • 1. You initiate every connection first.

    1. You initiate every connection first.

    Slide 1 of 10

    Be it phone calls, texting or social media interaction, if youre the one always starting the conversation, thats a sign hes not that into you. Women are wired to be pursued, and men are wired to pursue. If you arent being pursued by the man in question, thats a red flag that he isnt as invested as you are. Step back and give him the opportunity to text first sometimes. If he doesnt, take the sign for what it is and move on.

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  • 2. He blows you off for other plans.

    2. He blows you off for other plans.

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    Sometimes life just happens, but if you see a pattern of him blowing you off last minute, thats a sign. If you had a date planned and he cancels, and two hours later hes posting on Instagram that hes out with the boys, thats a red flag. If he constantly breaks plans and doesnt try to reschedule, thats another sign.

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  • 3. You don't have much to talk about.

    3. You don’t have much to talk about.

    Slide 3 of 10

    If youre constantly searching to fill the awkward silence in person or on the phone, or if your text banter always falls apart after a few volleys, this might be a sign. If he avoids eye contact with you and isnt a good listener when you talk, thats a stronger sign. A man who is interested in a woman wants to hear what she has to say. He will listen and ask questions to learn more about her. A man who isnt, wont.

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  • 4. He's only interested if there's something in it for him.

    4. He’s only interested if there’s something in it for him.

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    This is a big one. If you only hang out or talk when its convenient for him, when hes lonely or bored or when his friends blew him off, thats a big sign. And even bigger signladies, bewareis if he pushes the physical with you but doesnt pursue the emotional. You deserve better than a friends with benefits type of relationship that doesnt honor the Lord and doesnt protect your heart. Cut this off quick and spare yourself the drama.

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  • 5. He doesn't talk about you.

    5. He doesn’t talk about you.

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    If youve been hanging out for three months and he has yet to mention you to his friends or family, this is a red flag that he isnt sure how invested he is. Some personalities are more private than others, but after so long, its only natural for you to come up to his parents, best friend, or brother. If you havent, thats not a good sign.

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  • 6. He doesn't make effort to get plugged into your life.

    6. He doesn’t make effort to get plugged into your life.

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    If he only wants to hang out solo, and never wants to meet the parents, double date with your sister and her husband, or hang out with your best friends, this could be a sign hes not that into you. If youre a single parent and he isnt interested in meeting your child once youre ready for that step, thats a sign. Men who have a long-game mentality want to get plugged into your life in every way, to see if they fit.

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  • 7. He's overly critical.

    7. He’s overly critical.

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    Men who want to change you from the very beginning arent worth keeping around. This is sign hes not into youhes into the version of you he hopes to create. This is a recipe for disaster, and a big red flag to run the other way. Somewhere out there is a man who will accept you for youquirks and all.

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  • 8. He doesn't cut ties with other women.

    8. He doesn’t cut ties with other women.

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    Men who are actively pursuing a woman will set boundarieswith his female friends. The details of this step varies per man, but if hes interested, he should show you by demonstrating that you alone hold that new role in his life. This doesnt mean he never talks to his female friends again, but there should be a definite shift in priorities.

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  • 9. He won't label the relationship.

    9. He won’t label the relationship.

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    When the woman is constantly having to ask questions to verify the status of their relationship, its a sign that hes not that into you. A man who is into a woman will pursue her and want to tell the world shes taken. Hell be proud to be with her. If hes refusing to label or confirm the relationship, theres another red flag.

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  • 10. Sixth sense.

    10. Sixth sense.

    Slide 10 of 10

    Women just know when a man is into them and when theyre not. There will be a constant, underlying sensation of uncertainty in your heart. If this is the case, dont waste your time waiting around on him. Free yourself of that burden and then wait with open hands for what God has in store for you next.

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    BetsySt. Amant Haddoxis the authorof fourteen inspirational romance novels and novellas.She resides in north Louisianawith her newlywed hubby, two story-telling young daughters, acollection of Austen novels, and an impressive stash ofPickle Pringles.Betsyhas a B.A. in Communications and a deep-rooted passion for seeing women restored in Christ.When she’s not composing her next bookor trying to prove unicorns are real,Betsycanusually be found somewhere in the vicinity of awhite-chocolate mocha. Look for her latestnovel with HarperCollins, LOVE ARRIVES IN PIECES, and POCKET PRAYERS FOR FRIENDS with Max Lucado. Visit her athttp://www.betsystamant.com./

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