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The Enneagram Question We All Need to Stop Asking | RELEVANT Magazine

The Enneagram Query We All Must Cease Asking | RELEVANT Journal


What sort do you suppose they’re?

Its develop into a dreaded query when folks ask me that.

I dont know.

Like for actual. I dont.

I’ve a deep appreciation for the enneagram, the frequent language its given us, the lens by which its given us to see ourselves and perceive others.

However for the love, lets cease asking that dang query.

Its the incorrect query to be asking, in my humble opinion.

All we are able to see is someones conduct. They’re the one ones who can see their motivation.

We convolute and confuse extra issues once we insist on asking that query and heres why: Sitting on the sofa just lately throughout from my therapist she requested, Do you determine with a lot concerning the enneagram sort 4?

Honestly I had by no means thought a lot about it. From my first introduction to the enneagram at age 15, the Four was a sort I by no means recognized with a lot about so it grew to become an out of sight, out of thoughts kind of deal. However as we mentioned it, I felt like I used to be having an existential disaster sitting in her workplace that day, freaking out, and questioning if for the previous 15 years Ive had all of it incorrect and Im actually an enneagram sort Four and never a sort 8.

Dramatic? Completely.

Am I a sort 4? In all probability not.

Do I do know for certain? Nope.

Does it matter that I do know that I do know that I do know? Im not satisfied. 

The reward of the enneagram is hindered once we fixate on solidifying our personal sort and needing to know others varieties.The enneagram is a journey of self-discovery and religious development. Its not some enjoyable truth to whip out at a celebration. Guessing different folks’s sort is a sport that would truly be extra dangerous than useful.

I do know, I get it, its enjoyable. Ive completed it and Id be mendacity if I didnt admit that I form of prefer it. Its hilarious to speak about our mother and school roommate and boss and highschool boyfriends grandma and all of the basic enneagram 1 or enneagram 2, or no matter sort we speculate they’re, issues they do.

However we gotta cease. It places them within the very field we demand that others not put us in. Have been all so unbelievably and fantastically nuanced. If a part of the nuanced-ness of our character or our spouses or associates or familys character is that we dont know their sort, then its OK and thats the way it must be: Superbly nuanced, considerably unknown, however that people journey and kind to uniquely uncover.

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