᛫  

What Happens After 10 Years of No Porn?

From a predator to a protector

A few years ago, one of my pastors told me, Men tend to become one of two things: a predator of women or a protector of women. Again and again, Ive seen this statement proved right not just in others lives but also in my own life. Catalyzed by porn and masturbation, I preyed on women almost every day for years. Starting more than ten years ago, however, the trajectory of my life changed so drastically that now I strive to protect them.

It didnt happen all at once. But it got started much faster than I ever would have guessed, after just 40 days. In more than a decade of freedom since then, this passion has grown to the degree that I would never have thought possible.

It began with a 40-day bet

On September 16, 2009, I was 19 years old when a buddy unexpectedly challenged another friend and me to a bet of not masturbating for 40 days. Before that day, I had tried to stop many times but always failed. Even so, I was excited as we got started with the bet. To make a long story short, my two teammates didnt make it (not even close), but I doggedly endured to the end.

Believe it or not, after just those 40 days, it was already clear that life was incomparably better without porn and masturbation. When I took a shower, I just took a shower. When I was on the computer, I just used the computer. It was great!

While walking to my dorm after class a few days later, a fundamental yet profound thought came to mind: God, youve been right this whole time, havent you?

God began exposing my unhealthy views toward women

Even though a new life began for me after completing the bet, there was no denying that I had become warped by the years of habitually viewing women through a sexual lens, almost as a reflex. But thanks to Gods great mercy, he gently but firmly started helping me see how he sees women daughters hand-crafted in his image.

The more shocking lessons came when I heard some of my friends and classmates talk in passing about girls and porn. With what felt like new ears and eyes, it was like staring into a mirror. Was that really what I looked like just a few months prior?

Year after year, it has become less about not watching porn and more about protecting these precious women.

One such example came in the fall of 2015 (some six years after the bet) when I spent some time in Cambodia visiting a ministry called Agape International Missions, led by Don Brewster and his wife. The ministry is situated in an epicenter of child sex-trafficking, particularly of young girls, often not even in their teens. They are trafficked into a seemingly endless sea of brothels, attracting men from all over the world. Some of these brothels also produce pornography, thereby exposing an interconnected web of sex-trafficking, prostitution, and pornography.

Agape has been working in this region since 2005. They rescue and restore these women and girls, and theyve been able to do so with literally hundreds. After seeing with my own eyes the mutual love between Don and some of these girls, all I could do was think, Thats it Im going to spend the rest of my life helping girls like these across the world.

While this is just one example from the past ten years, I hope it highlights that merely not watching porn anymore is far overshadowed by the wildfire of passion for protecting little girls like these. Its like rediscovering what I was meant to do as a man: protect.

I want to be a protector of women too, Doug. How do I get started?

The fact that youre still reading this far indicates to me that the Lord is already working in your heart. First and foremost, run to Jesus and never stop. He holds all the keys.

As it pertains to stopping porn and masturbation, there are a lot of great resources already collected at XXXchurch.com. In particular, I would recommend joining with a genuine teammate or two into XXXchurchs 30 Day Porn FREE Challenge, seeing as a similar 40-day bet proved a fundamental turning point in my life. Also, if youd like to dig deeper into my story and what it could mean for yours, check out my recent book Called Higher.

Back

for(var key in aepc_pixel_args) args[key] = aepc_pixel_args[key];

return args; };

// Extend args if ( 'yes' === aepc_pixel.enable_advanced_events ) { aepc_pixel_args.userAgent = navigator.userAgent; aepc_pixel_args.language = navigator.language;

if ( document.referrer.indexOf( document.domain ) < 0 ) { aepc_pixel_args.referrer = document.referrer; } }fbq('init', aepc_pixel.pixel_id, aepc_pixel.user);setTimeout( function() { fbq('track', "PageView", aepc_pixel_args); }, aepc_pixel.fire_delay * 1000 );

Article/Post Source

Get involved!

Get Connected!

Come and join our community. Expand your network and get to know new people!

Comments

No comments yet